NEMO 2024: A Review
Summary: Not even the biggest or best miniature themed event in Chicopee in January. People were awesome. Weather was shit. 13/10.
If you enjoy Space Marines, competitive tournament play, and seek the thrill of chasing the latest meta to achieve crushing victory – this is not for you. Also why are you reading this blog?
However, if you desire the chance to play dead, and newly made-up games, whilst chugging $2 beers down at the American legion with a bunch of internet boyfriends. You may have just struck solid gold.
What the hell is Mordheim? The Crumbling Elephant in the Room
What is NEMO? The New England Mordheim Open, which now has the pleasure of being the world’s largest Mordheim event. What the hell is Mordheim?
Mordheim – a game famously dropped 3 years after release, which has been out of print for roughly 25 years, is about small pitched battles in a rough part of a rough town.
It has a place in gamer folklore for the: stylised black and white rulebook (nice way to skimp on the colour printing GW), the initial complete lack of terrain support and creative use of sling weapons. Gamers “enjoy” it as it gives us an excuse to slowly paint between 5 – 12 minis, slap them on square bases and pretend that lead minis are cool again. However, in practice games often involve taking said minis for a walk before they all trip/run away or die brutally in game.
It does look pretty, even when it is kicking your metaphorical ass off the edge of the building.
So why go to America to play Mordheim?
Well, the only other group of keen-o’s that seem to play Mordheim en mass are the Italian’s, and I couldn’t bring myself to pump “dwarf/axe or gromril” into google translate the required number of times to build a list.
Crucially, there was a genuine chance that between the castles, friendly people and food – I might have had a good time.
So that leaves America. Mercifully, only 3+ hours of driving, plus a quick 7-hour flight (London to Boston) and you have arrived in Chicopee – former mill town generously donated by the original Nipmuc natives. The area is broadly inhabited by the gaming group/podcast collective and organisational power houses known as the Hive Scum (https://www.patreon.com/HiveScum). If you haven’t already listened to their podcast – then I suggest you get over there and have a quick listen before you embarrass yourself. These lads are legit. They love the hobby. They are universally welcoming and are well organised enough that they could probably run for congress if they had too.
Review - How was it?
The People
Assuming you like tattoo covered, hardcore nerds - the people were great. Barely an influencer in sight - thank fuck – and the few normal(s) that snuck in (looking at you, Chris and Jeff) managed to style it out admirably with an equally deep love of toys and working knowledge of Bolt thrower.
A picture of some people! I took literally no selfies - so I stole these from Istnagrem. You know who you are and I steal your likenesses gladly.
The people I met and played with were great. There for the fluff, laughs and chance to hang. I personally didn’t see a single spam list so obliged by putting my phenomenal strategic mind to work and running mostly dwarfs with crossbows. Whilst it started out pretty well rounded – a bit of gold + new hires and I had crossbows joylessly deleting skaven off the board. Sorry again, Jared.
The Terrain
Speaking of boards - they were varied, interesting and equal parts “expertly-and -lovingly” made. I played on 3 amazing boards, which all added uniqueness and various characterful elements to the skirmishes. A particular shout out to our man Bill Ford (https://theruin.blog/) who in addition to building a heroic number of boards for the event, also hilariously managed to sneak in the oldhammer equivalent of Mouse Trap with rickety bridges lethal enough to kill more than one mini on the day. Kudos, Bill. Kudos.
Crappy pictures of the beaufiful boards that I got a chance to play on.
Other
A chance to buy toys and books – primarily from the people that made them – was very cool. Big names on campus included, White Tiger Tablecraft, Bigboy game time, Pixel Keeper, Martin McCoy, totally not panicking and a couple of rad tattooists.
Crucially, and a thing I only found out at 3 pm on the Saturday, was that there was a bar. A veteran’s bar. Explaining to a bunch of ex-USA service professionals who I was, why I was there and explaining Warhammer to them – was one of the highlights of the trip. Fantastically, drinks at the veteran’s bar were also literally the cheapest thing I have ever bought in America. Probably a good job I had to drive otherwise I would have gone “full British person at a wedding at them” – which would have been filth.
Music
In a remarkable contrast to any or nerd events I have been too before – they day ended with free play + a bunch of dungeon synth and hardcore/metal bands. Fuck. Yes. At this point however, my feet were truly ruined from 12 hours of standing up – next year I am going to rock out with my Crocs in sport mode.
Conclusion – so should you go next year?
If you are local – it is $20 + travel. If you are not local It is literally the same equation but I suspect less favourable on the wallet.
My suggestion is that if you can, do it. The chance to build community and play non-meta games is too good to miss. Wear comfortable shoes and bring stickers.
